Alexi Marchel

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AGE: A lady never tells her age

HEIGHT: 6 feet (with heels)

EYE COLOUR: Caribbean ocean

HAIR (COLOUR and TEXTURE): I’m a natural dirty blonde

Hobbies: Plunging my toilet, listening to Zizek talk about toilets and ideology, and learning about Toronto’s sewage system

Training: I don’t need any

Three words that describe you best: Pulchritudinous, ravishing, resplendent

Three words that don’t describe you at all: Platypus, fungus, unibrow

Favourite thing about Parkdale: Having the opportunity to carry heavy projectors, computers, speakers, and vegetables through its charming streets…

Past projects: Staring at the mirror and practicing my runway walk on the uneven cobblestones in Warsaw, Poland.

Upcoming projects: Marrying Clive Owen

Biggest fear: Derrida

Who is your superhero? The Ditchwitches!

What do you look for when making an investment? Does the website have a picture of Clive Owen?

Most important thing in life: Kittens

What would you do with a purple crayon? Draw a purple crayon

What makes you a Ditchwitch? My ruggedness, my power, and of course, my ease of operation

How many times have you won the “Miss Toronto” beauty pageant? None yet, but I will…Very soon